i never blog

only sometimes, on days seemingly random and topics just as much; today is an isolated incident.

i arrived to work this morning (a few minutes late, per usual) to disturbing news. the night before, my dads best friend and fellow coworker was involved in a severe car accident in which his son, who is an employee as well, was driving the company pickup truck along with another coworker.

all three of them suffered injuries, the worst of the damage suffered by my dad's friend. with a broken neck, two punctured lungs and a shattered sternum, he was rushed to st. mikes critical care unit here in toronto after an assesment by emp's at the scene of the crash.

his son, my friend, suffered a broken nose and what i can only assume is extreme mental anguish. the third victim mentioned received deep lacerations in his scalp and a broken collarbone.

thankfully, no one was killed, though my dad's friend is still listed in stable condition in the critical ward of st. mikes. he is due to return closer to home early next week, which appears a small grace in this horrific scene.

these are people i see often around work. i locked glances and exchanged waves with the lad in most critical condition just hours before the incident, as we passed each other at the security checkpoint.

i can only hope that his son doesn't blame himself, an impossible desire. i can't even enter the outskirts of the universe of fathoming how i would react to such an event. i hope he comes right back to work and doesn't overuse imagery he's inherited by being involved. i've experienced a rollover while not driving, not having any relatives involved and during which nobody received life threatening injuries. my head was seriously fucked up for at least a week after the incident and i still randomly reinact car crash scenes throughout my sleeping life.



this event has landed an enormous meteorite directly to the left of the victims as well as everyone who knows the three lads. it didn't crush us completely but the damage has definitely been done. you have to know a good country boy to understand, but these are 3 of the classiest country lads that there is.

incidently, today i purchased a lottery ticket.

i never do that either.

1 Comments | Send To Friend | 18 February 2005

less

what a strange week.

every once in a while people lose control of the most basic of functions. every once in a while people deserve to lose that sense of self-control. as a reward, no, but merely as a reminder of simplicity.

the bus runs at 7. don't get on it.
the car stalls on the road. walk away and don't shut the door.

you missed the bus and the car was towed.

go back to bed. be unable to fathom or care about the consequences. did anyone come wake you?

has energy passed through you like a flawed redundancy check, only identifying the bad parts? excellent. stay in bed.

identify everything you should be feeling guilty about, everyone whom you receive responsibility from. fail to acknowledge feelings but don't ignore them. ignore yourself.

for eternity can wait, more or less.

0 Comments | Send To Friend | 23 September 2004

i suppose

confiding in others what you hold as truth can be a dangerous game to play. if not a game, perhaps more of a sport; measuring levels of friendship ultimately relies on the number of personal truths you have revealed, thus a crude score is kept.

everything stated to another is held in some regard, but based on previous opinions, can the recipient of a new truth really respond subjectively to something new? perhaps so, but everything is based upon everything else and it's difficult to know what another actually thinks. alone at night, does that recipient reguritate that same truth differently from their initial response? does the recipient try to figure out how to continue the facade? i know i am guilty of such, thus making it difficult to know who i can rely on.

rely on to laugh without hidden subtext.
rely on to correct an erroneous thought without prejudice.
rely on to share a sentiment with warmth and acceptance.

i suppose i'll never know until i find out.

0 Comments | Send To Friend | 16 September 2004

heat

immobile. remaining so.
bearing withness to the flashed amplification of reality.
image searing beyond retinal tissue,
glancing the reactor core.
reflecting opinions.
relief is not
trying to walk towards me;
kicking instead my dripping flesh.
melting into singularity
with what is loved
and what will leave...
soon.

0 Comments | Send To Friend | 16 September 2004

since

since i've discovered people are actually interested in what i have to portray through writing, i'm going to post a little more here.

*fanfare*

0 Comments | Send To Friend | 14 September 2004

visualized apparently

trained to see from day one: conceived success.
visualizing apparently more than you wanted me to know
about how the world doesn't revolve around you.
disappointing appointment, your apathy disguised in hazed bliss, boiling over.
a false sense of confidence.
ambiguous pride.
visualized apparently.

0 Comments | Send To Friend | 14 September 2004

hrm
apparently my..

hrm

apparently my tally is rather insignificant.

3 Comments | Send To Friend | 19 April 2003